The definition of success

Tonight I'm writing an essay for a scholarship that I might get for a business camp that I want to go. The topic of essay is connected to success and making the best out of yourself. While looking for some good quotes about success, I've found an article about success. It was totally nothing new for me and I bet will not be new for you - we all are very smart people, but how often do we really take some time to think how successful we are for ourselfs and not in somebody's opinion.Honestly saying, I don't do that often. Though I think I should...

Last night I had a telephone conversation with a friend, and while we were mulling over one subject after another, I mentioned how cool it would be if only I could win the lottery. I remember stating that I wouldn't even mind sharing the jackpot with a few other people, as long as a couple of millions were left hanging for me. My friend asked me what I would change about my life if I was wealthy, and that's when it hit me: Nothing really. The only difference would be that I would not have to be concerned about paying the monthly bills anymore, and maybe that I would purchase a nice house in the hills, but the actual contents of my life and the way I have furnished it so far would not undergo any significant transformation. This discovery intrigued me. In fact it got me mulling over it long after the conversation with my friend was over! I started wondering if the universal measure of success should not be: the degree to which a person manages to be satisfied with the general contents of his or her routine. Just think about it for a moment: there are many wealthy people who would give away half or all of their assets if only they could obtain contentment. And there are many people balancing on the edge of poverty, but with peace in their heart, faces that smile a lot, and a set of activities that they would not want to change for the world. Now, which category of these people is really successful? My conclusion is, that success has just as many faces as any other possible theme, depending on the society in which it is measured, and the character of the person who measures it. Wrongfully, many people confuse success with wealth: they assume that a person's triumph can be concluded from the expensiveness of his or her watch, car, or house. They envy those in their circle of acquaintances who can financially afford more than they can. They keep comparing themselves with the Joneses and allow their happiness to depend on the level to which they can equal these people's lifestyles. And they forget to just do the simplest thing in the world: turn inside and analyze what it is that they really like. I think success should be more synonymous with happiness than with affluence. For it's only when you find satisfaction with what you're doing and don't dread facing every new day when your task has to be embarked upon, that you are really successful. When you can move in an environment that pleases you, and when you feel at ease with the ones you deal with on a daily base; when you feel loved, cared for, understood, and valued in what you do, and you don't have to switch personalities from one location to another: that's when you've really attained success. When you see that you make a difference, if only in one person's life; when you are confronted with gratitude, not only from others toward you, but from your outer-self to your inner-self: that's when you are a real winner. Success, therefore, cannot be measured by what radiates from a person's purse or material cover, but from what exudes from his or her personality. You can feel it in one's touch, you can hear it in one's voice: in the way one speaks, and you can see it in one's eyes. Successful people are self-assured, know what they want, and go for it. And what they want, they simply determine with feeling, and not with what others dictate them. So, are you successful?

by Joan Marques

"Don't worry" city

Well, finally I have time for a short or a long (I never know actually:)post here about my adventures in Naples last week! If I try to sum it up in few words, I’ll have to say just 3: “It was amazing”. Despite the fact I was worried, scared, prejudiced and angry because of flight delay, so far it was one of the best experiences in Italy so far.
Naples is definitely is a place to visit not only because of long history and sightseeing opportunities but mostly because of the most hospitable people I’ve ever met!
I’ve done a lot of things, can’t remember now all of them, but will try to….
…. I’ve seen “Attenzione!Be aware” announcement with a picture of thief stealing wallets in a bus and in a split of a second I saw Dante turning from a chat with me to another side of the bus, shouting and kicking out of the bus a man that was trying to steal his mobile.
… I’ve seen office of Napoli Parthenope situated near the sea right next to old huge castle on the coast of Bay of Naples.
…. I thought it’s always difficult to come first time somewhere, especially to LC visit in foreign country when you almost don’t know anything about people! But after few time spent in the office I had a nice feeling of being in a very nice place, it didn’t feel like being at my home LC. Dnipropetrovs’k was always different. But there was something, cozy, you know in these environment, people, and attitude! It’s been quite challenging because of punctuality (imagine we were always late with sessions even tough I considered myself to be a person that is able to organize everything on time), a bit difficult with language (but, believe me, now I know what does it mean to speak slow:)), but everything else went almost the way I planned.
….All those days I felt like a Princess thanks to attention and care that was given to me there by everyone – AIESECers, their relatives and even random people on the streets. I could never imagine that somebody’s parents can take care of me so much, deeply caring of what I eat and drink, what I like, dislike, prefer etc. I tried best pizza and best mozzarella in Italy. Yaaamii! And also lots of other things which names I don’t remember!
…. I felt very smart:) when they were telling to everyone how cool I’m to have Masters at 21.
…. I’ve learned a new philosophy of not worrying and being relaxed
…. I saw LC who has great relations with University starting from cleaners and ending with headmaster, at recruitment event I saw alumni who founded AIESEC in Napoli Parthenope telling how exchange was made when there still was Berlin wall
….. I’ve waited to enter to a trattoria for 30 minutes in a line (imagine a cafe like that now in Ukraine. Not our first McD in 1995:)), where waiters ask people to eat faster and leave right after they finish because other people are waiting to get in (they do have great food there), I got used to eat pasta as appetizer (like salads in Ukraine) and then 3 courses after it.
…. I got to know what Sunday family lunch means:)
…. I didn’t do that much sightseeing because of terrible weather, but what I managed to see was great. I didn’t go to see The Pope, but I went to a big Museum to see huge cribs and a great view on Bay of Naples, Vesuvius (Europe’s largest active volcano) and Naples itself.
…. I had a ride on scooter first time in my life:)
…. I didn’t get to understand all the habits and traditions of Neapolitans, but some of it really made me learn and understand a lot about cultural differences and differences in people’s behaviors. Judemao, I still have in mind one story about paying coffee…
… I definitely felt in love with people, not somebody in particular unfortunately:) Thank you very much Angela, Giancarlo, Judemao, Dante and Alessandro for being great hosts! I really appreciated a lot your efforts and the time spent together:) Looking forward my next visit..:)

My pictures are at Facebook as usually! Link is here.

P.S. Don't worry !!!!!!!!:)

Bbbrrrrr....

Всем, кто считает меня организованным человеком с хорошими навыками тайм менеджмента посвящается...

Значит так, на часах 22.41, Маша прибежала с итальянского, сидит в офисе угрюмо листая туда - сюда 2 страницы ежедневника забитые списком дел, которые нужно сделать.

Какие уж тут недельные приоритеты, какие схемы "важно - не важно, срочно - не срочно" и т.п. все горит! и что самое интересное на это все у меня есть 1 ночь и около 2 часов рабочего дня завтра потому что послезавтра я лечу в Неаполь на ЛС визит, которым меня пугают уже целую неделю, и которого я в общем-то сама боюсь и без запугиваний...

Завтра у меня встреча на все утро, Айсек день в Милано Боккони, сбор вещей на 5 дней на все случаи жизни, подготовка к визиту из серии "хочу то, не знаю что. и расскажи про это, учитывая вот то и логично связывая с вот тем вот", десяток дел, которые надо доделать, около 10 (утром будет около 20 писем) на которые надо ответить. да, я еще чер ХКБ, и они тоже требуют внимания. Еще и пломба вылетела опять. Привет турецим стоматологам. И когда бы еще визит к дантисту вписать на завтра?

Теперь внимание вопрос.. Как это все называется? Стресс? Депрессия? Проблемы с тайм менеджментом? Или тот, кто не работает на выходных, работает по ночам?:)

Так это я все к чему написала в этой безумной спешке: во-первых, чтобы выплеснуть злость на саму себя. Выплеснула. Во-вторых, чтобы почувствовать, что я хоть что-то могу нормально структурировать. Почувствовала. В - третьих, чтобы доказать самой себе, что я еще способна писать на русском (не знаю, с ошибами ли, но смысл наверно понятен:)). Доказала. В - четвертых, чтобы хоть напротив одного дела в ежедневнике поставить галочку. Ставлю. Ну вот, вроде ничего не забыла, готова идти писать письмо турецкому султану ака Данте ака ЛСП Неаполя куда я еду через день:)

La bella figura

I was about to write this post few days ago, exactly the second day I started to read the book, but managed today only. Well, in any case, you should read it.

So, few days ago I started a book by Beppe Severgnini, columnist for the Corriere della Sera - one of the biggest Italian newspapers. The book is called "La bella figura" meaning literally 'the beautiful figure', but really 'a good image' is hilarious guide into Italian mentality and mind. So I thought that there is no better way to share some of my observations about Italians then sharing some extracts from this book.

.... First of all, let's get one thing straight. Your Italy and our Italia are not the same thing.

....Yet Italy is far from hellish. It's got too much style. Neither is it heaven, of course, because it's too unruly. Let's just say Italy is an offbeat purgatory, full of proud, tormented souls each of whom is convinced he or she has a hotline to the boss.

....It takes an outstanding director to govern the Italians.

....Obedience is boring. We want to think about it. We want to decide whether a particular law applies to our specific case. In that place, at that time.

.... Do you see that red light? It looks the same as any other red light anywhere in the world, but it's an Italian invention. It's not an order, as you may naivly think. Nor is it a warming, as a superficial glance might suggest. It's actually an opportunity to reflect....In Italy, red lights come in many varieties. A rare few actually mean stop. Others, to the Italian driver, suggest different interpretations. At a pedestrian crossing at 7 a.m., with no pedestrians around, it is a “negotiable red,” more like a weak orange. At a traffic intersection, red could mean what the Florentines call rosso pieno, or full red, but it might, with no cars coming, be more of a suggestion than a command. It all depends.

... It's one in the afternoon. In Milan, this is time for la colazione which means breakfast in Rome but is the same thing as lunch in New York. The midday meal in Rome is il pranzo, which for many people in Milan means the evening meal that everyone in Naples calls la cena.

... Consider the humble cappuccino. After 10 o'clock ib the morning it's unethical and possibly even unlawful to order one. You wouldn't have one in the afternoon unless the weather was very cold. Needless to say, sipping a cappuccino after a meal is something only non-Italians do. Pizzas at midday are for schoolkids. Rice with meat is perfect, but pasta with meat is embarassing unless it's cooked in the sauce. Having a started after your pasta raises no eyebrows, but eating a main neat or fish dish instead of a starter looks greedy. Grating Parmesan over clams is an offense against religion...

.... You chose creamed vegetables, but the menu said vellutata di verdure di stagione al profumo di finocheietto selvatico, servita coi crostini e olio extravergine d'oliva d'Abruzzo, which is one way to charge extra 10 euros for it.

I hope you had fun:) I continue reading...:)

Queen of the Adriatic

Continuing stories about my Italian travels, I'm here to tell you about "Queen of the Adriatic", "City of Water", "City of Bridges" and "City of Light" or simply about Venice - one of the most famous cities in the world.

As I wrote a bit before EBC conference was in Lignano - Sabbiadoro which is around 1 hour to go from Venice, so obviously I couldn't miss a chance to see the place I've heard so much about... and, I didn't regret it I must say:)

Venice is built on three hundred and seventeen small islands, and holds one hundred and fifty canals, connected by an amazing four hundred and nine bridges, of which only three cross the main canal. The area it covers is a mere 458 kilometres. Although the city appears small, it is really quite extensive for its size. While most tour guides don’t recommend getting lost in the majority of cities, Venice is the place to get hopelessly lost for a day which is actually a very easy thing to do. Venice is a labirint of the most narrow and short streets that I've ever seen, which all are so similar and diverse at the same time. I don't really know how much time on should live in Venice not to feel a complete idiot in city orientation:)

The population is roughly 63, 000 people, but there is belief that Venice will, over time, lose most of its population and become merely a large theme park, purely for the entertainment of tourists and I actually quite belive it since I obviously have seen more toursts then locals in Venice, don't ask me how do I distinguish them, but it's really easy to do.

What I got to know is that Venice is Venice is the world's only pedestrian city, is beautifully walkable, and the absence of cars makes it a particularly pleasant experience but very exausting indeed due to hundreds of bridges that you have to pass each 3 minutes:)

Venice today remains the same as centuries ago, but I'd never say that this is a place where you feel the pressure of history. And it's no wonder - apart from San Marco and Doge's Palace there are almost no huge buildings - it's not possible to imagine neither a huge gothic church nor a skyscraper among all these miniature bridges, small streest and 2 floor old houses.

You know, I'm a photo freak and I always take a lot of pictures, everywhere, but in Venice I simply couldn't help to stop myself from taking pictures of streets, channels and houses again and again even tough I know I already have many:) well, in the end I have around 200 pictures, some of them are available here.
My acquaintance with Venice this time was rather visual and haptic - I didn't get to know a lot of history, didn't visit any museum, didn't go inside San Marco or Doge's Palace. Venice is the city that you should discover step by step and I'm sure our acquaintance with this magic city is to be continued soon...

Going deeper into Italian culture

That's going to be a long one since I have lots of news to share after this week! That was one of the most challenging and rewarding weeks in past months.

It was a week of creating and breaking stereotypes, week of bananas (this is how we call urgent problems in MC) and great successes. So what was that? My first Italian conference!!!!!!!!!

Firstly about the conference - executive board conference is quite a typical conference that is happening all around the world for EBs after IC. Apart from EB track we also had track for Project managers, who are leading PBoXes in LCs.

The conference was organized by LC Trieste in a very beautiful and peaceful place on Ardiatic sea Lignano - Sabbiadoro (golden sands) in quite good hotel with very good food (NO PASTA for 5 days!:))

During my transition in June I was constanly told that Italian conferences are challenge both in professional and personal aspects, few weeks ago in Pisa, I was speaking to Cisco and he kind of reminded me once again all the "horrors" that I should be prepared for. So, try to imagine my attitude before going there:)

The conference was a good time to understand better the culture, both Italian in general and AIESEC in Italy in particular. Some of the things seemed to be very good for me, some very absurd, some things were very difficult like language issue for example, some things were easier then I expected - the attitude and warmth that plenary showed to us. In any ways, I was definitely very well prepared for conference, so things like formal dress (guys taking off trousers and staying only in pants), baptizing, songs about putane and zoccole didn't shock me soo much:) Italians don't really have a lot of LC shouts - I only remember "Noi non siamo Napoletane. Vot non siete Napoletabe" (my favourite actually) and "Torino, Torino celano piccolino( not sure about spelling:)) and "Comitato Nazionale, Comitato Nazionale..." But what Italians indeed have are the songs that they have for almost each situation. I loved some, but definitely don't remember the words:)

I mostly have good memories about sessions. That was the first time for Italians to have evening plenaries, which were a success. Everything was quite good apart from timing (sometimes my fault) and reflection that totally didn't work. All the dances, videos, shouts and crazy plenary with underwear worked well:)

My biggest concern about this conference - half day session about PBoXes worked very well, I think even connection with Kill Bill was good!

My greatest satisfaction of conference - Exchange functional track! That was actually the first time I met my VPs and I was pleased and amazed by the day we spent together with them! Exchange rocks:)

And the official dinner was amazing - in a way official dinner at EBC was better then the one at IC this year:) Congratulations to my crazy Napoli Parthenope for winning PwC award:)

During this conference I actually realized that the facts that we were discussing with girls in Ukraine about how a year abroad in particular country may change us were so true.I feel like becoming integrated, moreover, I feel like becoming more open, more flexible a bit more crazy - becoming Italian. I know that my visit to Napoli in 1,5 week will definitely change me even more:) I already wrote some time before that I enjoyed being here, but now I came to a conclusion that this is the right place, the right time, the right position for me. You know, I feel like doing exactly what I'm meant to do at specific point of time! And that's an amazing feeling!

What else.. aaa, a thing that I've noticed - in Ukraine and in general in international conferences we pass trough a process of firstly getting first visual impression of people and then getting to know them better in other aspects. Here in Italy, I passed trough totally opposite process - I firstly got to know people virtually and only after 3,5 months in Italy I get the change to connect what I knew about people with their faces. At one point of time I was thinking about the way how our consciousness works - and that it's much easier to create stereotypes from first visual impression rather then from first impression that you got trough communicating with people virtually.

And the last, but not the least - it was great to meet LCs that I'm coaching - Roma che? Roma TRE! Trieste, Napoli Parthenope and Milano Bocconi! They all are so different, but so great!:) I'm going to visit them in October - November! Yoooohooo:)

So, coming to the end of thing looong post, there are few main conclusions that I'd like to share.

Italians are very much like we (foreigners) imagine them: totally crazy, emotional and extraverted, hospitable and warm. At the same time I must say that we have to many stereotypes about Italian men - they are not soo- soo hot as we imagine them abroad, actually the "hottest" guys that I've seen at conference were mostly not Italians. Hm, well maybe I still need to attend more conferences:)
There are quite a lot of differences between North and South in Italy and what I've noticed is that when a person is introducing himself he'll always say I'm .... (napoletan, sicilian, sardenian etc.) rather then I'm Italian:). There are even some names that are given to people from south and north (terrone and polentone) but they way they use it here never sound offensive like using similar names in Ukraine (москалі, кацапи, бандеровцы) between East and West and this respect to people from other regions is something that Ukrainians are still to learn. why not from Italians:)

That's the end of my report from EBC. stay tuned for another story about Venice...:)

P.S. my pictures from EBC are here

Persistence

For already few days I go crazy preparing our national conference, brains boiling, eyes hurt, back and ass as well:) today I was finalizing one of my sessions with quite an experimental approach to explaning PBoXes:) I was looking for a picture illustrating persistence and the one I've found, literally made my day. Decided to share...

You chose your attitude

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply,“If I were any better, I would be twins!”Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs,so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant
Why?Because Jerry was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him“I don’t get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.I always choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life.”“But it’s not always that easy,“ I protested.“Yes it is,” Jerry said.
“Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations.You choose how people will affect your mood.You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood.It’s your choice how you live your life.”Several years later,
I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business.He left the back door of his restaurant open
And then ???In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.
While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.…I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was,he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Want to see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied.“Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared“ I asked?
Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.”“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything.”
‘Yes,’ I replied.
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathand yelled, ‘Bullets!’
Over their laughter, I told them,‘I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead’.“Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.
I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.
The only thing that is truly yours — that no one can control or take from you-is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.